This will be long and kinda corny because this is a big deal for me personally, but I really needed to put this all down somewhere. I've always been curious about the "behind the scenes" when it comes to an article being published, so maybe someone out there would be interested?
Since I was a teenager, I dreamed of writing for Fangoria. As my burgeoning fixation on horror started taking over my life, I made a habit of buying lots of Fangoria back issues on eBay (which was much more affordable in the early aughts.) I'd pore over them, using the gold inside to find out about horror films and books I had to have in my life. Beyond introducing me to movies of varying quality, Fangoria was how I discovered intelligent, funny, kind people loved gory stuff too, and they could write really goddamn well, too. To this day, I have a formidable David J. Schow collection on my shelves, and it all began with falling in love with his column (especially his account of working on Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3) in those pages. Every issue felt like I was getting an encouraging message in a bottle to my island where I was becoming increasingly, mysteriously sick with what would turn out—after almost a year of medical testing— to be SLE while isolated in a weird city I had to move to in the middle of high school. I was alone and my immune system was on its own body horror adventure, and the lurid pages became a lifeline.
Cronenberg is the king of physically manifesting what immune disorders feel like. God bless Canada.
Actually writing for them didn't ever seem viable, though. Unpossible. I didn't know anybody, and I wasn't a cool journalist in New York City, which was my dream as a kid. As the years passed, the magazine itself took the same hits publications at large were enduring as the landscape shifted mightily thanks to the internet taking over how people consumed "content." Finally, the magazine completely folded, website and all, and after mourning its last gasp, I figured that was that.
When the new Fangoria was announced in 2018, this time as more of a boutique quarterly publication so it could actually survive in the 21st century, I was thrilled. Heck, this time I was even acquainted with some of the people working on and writing for the magazine—they weren't just mythical names on a page! My dream was rekindled, but only barely. It seemed like a long shot, and I wasn't sure if I had a good enough idea to pitch anyway.
I'm not a guy who gets people coming to them: I haven't done enough yet, so I have to hustle, which I respect and even often enjoy, but unfortunately, selling myself has never been my strong suit. Everything turned kind of bittersweet. Back then it was because (ostensibly) I wasn't an NYC journalist; now, my lack of confidence and connections were shouting me down.
The new editor in chief, Phil Nobile Jr, has always been a kind, albeit carefully observant presence: He's like the guy who's nice to all the social groups at lunch even though he's a fixture at the cool table. That's the only reason that a random tweet about me pitching something got him to tell me to actually pitch my idea, and I did, and there it is. Up there. The only thing that made it not the most simple thing on earth was looking back at all the self-flagellation and work I had to do on myself and my writing leading up to it. I guess it was just my time to try. I'll always be grateful to him for taking a chance on an unknown kid. Editor Meredith Borders came in with kind words about my writing when she was editing my copy, and I don't think she'll ever know how much that meant to me.
A huge thank you to my friends who had to listen to my fears about it getting pulled any given second. Rob Dean (@neuroticmonkey) and Scott Drebit (@phantasm2) especially had to listen to a lot of grousing because they gave a lot of emotional support. My friend and partner in podcasting, Brad Henderson, helped me with contacting certain people for interviews, and that was invaluable. Finally, my dear friend and co-writer Duane Swierczynski dusted off his editor glasses and gave me some tough love while my other dear friend and very talented writer Stephen Romano looked it over and played the good cop. Those roles naturally happened and having both outlooks was priceless.
I'm now in my own Fangoria/Starlog collection. What.
I hope it's good. I hope it's not filler. This wasn't a random outlet to me. In fact, it was so high on my bucket list (top 5) that now I have to concentrate in earnest on finishing my screenplay in 2020 because you have to keep moving down your list, apparently, right?
I'm still going to pitch when I have ideas I think will fit, and I love the new website Fangoria+ and would also like to add something of value there as well, but who knows? Good or bad, it's all unexpected, but it no longer feels impossible, and that's amazing. They're constantly publishing writers of different backgrounds, social and economic opportunities, ages... you name it. It's a great and essential approach, and I'll be reading cover to cover even if my name never appears in it again.
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